For some reason that I can’t begin to understand,
I still miss you so very badly
Despite the time that has passed and the pain of our last parting,
I still miss you more than words can possibly convey
I miss your laughter, God, I miss your deep, open laughter
The sound of your voice, I never cherished before
Until it completed faded from my ear and my life
I crave your touch, the roughness of it, and yet still so gentle
I miss our long, long conversations, spanning endless hours
But somehow feeling like it’s only been minutes
Worse of all, I just miss the comforting thought,
That you’re a part of my life, and always will be
**
Each joy I feel, my very first instinct is to share with you
Each success I achieve, just feels so empty
Without you in my life to share it, dissect it and celebrate it
Ours wasn’t even a perfect relationship, far from that
There was just so much pain and heartache involved
Yet here I am, here I stand, weak and helpless
Missing you in a way that I would never wish on anyone
**
In the end, I do remember the cold emptiness I often felt,
In your presence and around you
In the end, I can not lie to myself that I was always happy
With you and around you
I’ve come this far, and as vulnerable as I am now
As much as I miss you, God, I miss you
I must keep this gaping distance between us
I must, for me, and for you, I must
Because in the end, missing you is really far better than hating you