For some reason that I can’t begin to understand,

                I still miss you so very badly

Despite the time that has passed and the pain of our last parting,

                I still miss you more than words can possibly convey

I miss your laughter, God, I miss your deep, open laughter

                The sound of your voice, I never cherished before

Until it completed faded from my ear and my life

                I crave your touch, the roughness of it, and yet still so gentle

I miss our long, long conversations, spanning endless hours

               But somehow feeling like it’s only been minutes

Worse of all, I just miss the comforting thought,

                That you’re a part of my life, and always will be

**
Each joy I feel, my very first instinct is to share with you

                Each success I achieve, just feels so empty

Without you in my life to share it, dissect it and celebrate it

                Ours wasn’t even a perfect relationship, far from that

There was just so much pain and heartache involved

                Yet here I am, here I stand, weak and helpless

Missing you in a way that I would never wish on anyone

**

In the end, I do remember the cold emptiness I often felt,

                In your presence and around you

In the end, I can not lie to myself that I was always happy

                With you and around you

I’ve come this far, and as vulnerable as I am now

                As much as I miss you, God, I miss you

I must keep this gaping distance between us

                I must, for me, and for you, I must

Because in the end, missing you is really far better than hating you