Where is the Joy

The hurdles I’ve jumped, the choices I’ve made

The regrets I have, the pain I feel

Where is the joy in living and being?

Sometimes I feel the warmth seep

Through my body, the warmth of a smile

I saw, the hug I felt, the kiss I received

And then, there is some joy in living and being

But then, and there is always a but,

The smile fades and narrows into a frown

The arms that hugged become limp and the

The lips that kissed are simply gone

Too often this occurs, too often they become

Memories, memories that distort or fade

And I ask, where is the joy?

The insecurities I have abound, why am I here?

Why do I go through this?

And the answer? Darn if I know it

So I continue to make my choices,

And feel my pain and regrets, and if

I’m lucky I’m hugged and kissed once more

I may lose it all, it may be gone

In the flash of a heartbeat

But isn’t that living and being?