Epiphany

The weather was so humid and tepid I felt stuffed and boxed in. My two-bedroom, 1,100-square-foot apartment had suddenly become strangely constricting. I wasn’t feeling like myself and it wasn’t just about the weather. I paced up and down, almost as if I was on a manhunt and, any second now, I would find excitement hidden somewhere. There was nothing interesting on TV and, as a TV addict, that was a major setback. There was actually never anything interesting on TV on Fridays. I had always wondered if there was some mysterious industry logic behind it. In any case, it left me completely bored senseless. My next addiction, the cinema, wasn’t any help either. I had been to the cinema a couple of hours before, so that option was done. I desperately needed to do something. My phone rang as I lay on my bed going mental with boredom. I looked at the number and answered excitedly.

“Hey you,” I said.

“Hey, what’s up with you? You haven’t called me in like forever,” he said.

I closed my eyes at the sound of his voice. I loved his voice. It wasn’t necessarily sexy, but it was his voice.

“I know. I’ve been so swamped with work, it’s insane. On some nights I go to bed at 2 A.M.,” I said.

“So what are you doing right now? It’s Friday night.”

“Nothing much; I’m really bored, and it’s driving me crazy. There’s nothing on TV, and I’ve already been to the cinema and I don’t have anyone to go clubbing with. Truth is, I’m not even interested in clubbing.”

“So come visit me,” he said.

“Hmmm, I have gym at 9 A.M. tomorrow so I’ll see if I can set off after that. I don’t know though. I mean, just driving there for one day?”

As much as I was bored, I was skeptical about driving almost five hours to visit him. I had a lot of stuff to do the next day. There was gym, and then laundry and grocery shopping and a bunch of other important, life-altering chores.

“I mean come and visit me now, right now,” he said.

I raised an eyebrow. What? It was past midnight. Florida was at least five hours away from Atlanta. I wasn’t sure I was in the mood to drive that far at this hour.

“I don’t know, it’s really late,” I said doubtfully.

“Come on, be spontaneous. We’ll just lie in bed and cuddle, and talk.”

That sounded good, and tempting. I thought about it for a brief minute and then decided to go for it. I hadn’t done anything that crazy and spontaneous in a very long time. Why not? I was bored. And I had kind of missed him too.

“Okay, I’ll leave in twenty.”

“Cool, call me when you set off, yeah. Drive safe.”

I hung up and rushed around throwing clothes into a small bag. It was going to be for just two nights and two days. As I packed, I was getting more excited. This was going to be fun!

As soon as I walked through the door, we were kissing intensely. I had missed kissing him. He had the sweetest lips. I started to feel heady as his hands slipped underneath my T-shirt. I let his hands unclasp my bra and roam my chest freely. Then he lifted my T-shirt and dipped his head. I exhaled as he took a nipple in his mouth and his hand caressed the other breast. By the time we got up to his room, I couldn’t stand it. It was so intense and beautiful being with him again. I didn’t want it to end. I hadn’t made love with anyone in close to eight months.

“That was just awesome,” I said, sighing.

He laughed. “You’re so silly.”

“Seriously, that was really good. I still have goose bumps.”

He chuckled and lay next to me.

I turned and looked at him. He was looking different from the last time I saw him. He was bigger now, in a nice-built way. I preferred this look. I loved the feel of his new muscles, his chest, back and arms. We chatted for a little bit and then I fell asleep. It was past 6 A.M. and I was tired from the drive and the sex.

The next morning, he left for work and was gone almost the whole day. He was a doctor and they probably had the worst work hours. I slept in for a while, thinking about what had happened the night before. I was feeling tingly all over. I needed him again.

I couldn’t believe I’d been off sex for that long. This celibacy pact of mine was just frustrating. At a point, I thought it was important, and maybe it still was, but I was beginning to realize I was a very sexual person. This was really why I had decided to try celibacy. It was because I wanted to be by myself and put an end to the complications that had plagued my life. But after last night, I knew caging up my feelings and needs was useless. I needed him again so badly I couldn’t stand it.

Later that night, I went to hang out with his room-mate for a while, chatting, and waiting for him to come home. When he eventually did, it just wasn’t what I expected.