The success of Twilight: Eclipse ($83 million for the holiday weekend) and The Last Airbender ($54 million) have film critics in a tizzy. Many film critics are outwardly calling audiences dumb and stupid and so-called quality movie makers are appalled. Year after year, critics feel the audience is responsible for the churn of bad quality movies. Here’s a look at what they’re so upset about.

Worst of 2009

1. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen ($402 million)
2. The Twilight Saga: New Moon ($300 million)
3. 2012 ($170 million)
4. X-Men Origins: Wolverine ($180 million)
5. G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra ($150 million)
6. Angels and Demons ($135 million)

Best of 2009

1. The Hurt Locker ($16 million)
2. Summer Hours ($2 million)
3. A Serious Man ($9 million)
4. Inglorious Basterds ($120 million)
5. 35 Shots of Rum ($177k)
6. Fantastic Mr. Fox ($21 million)

Looking at the dismal performances of the best movies vs the worst, it’s no wonder critics are going crazy. And they’re getting more and more vocal about the obvious dumbness of moviegoers. 

Author Nicole Griffen lamented, “I wonder who the people are who read poorly written, but wildly bestselling, books like The Da Vinci Code, The Bridges of Madison County and Twilight.” Her conclusion is that they’re read primarily by people who, in Griffen’s words, “don’t know any better.”

Stephen King, along with several notable writers, called the Twilight book series the worst writing ever. King said, “Stephanie Meyer can’t write worth a damn.”

And Peter Travers (Rolling Stone) refers to Transformers as ‘pure unadulterated stupidity.’

MTV’s Kurt Loder suspects Edward Cullen in Twilight is secretly gay. And Roger Ebert begins his review of Twilight: Eclipse with this, “The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan. Never have teenagers been in greater need of a jump-start. Granted some of them are more than 100 years old, but still: their charisma is by Madame Tussaud.”

AO Scott of the New York Times says, “The best way to watch The Last Airbender is probably with your ears and maybe eyes closed.”

And M. Night Shyamalan’s response, “It seems I am speaking a different language.”

M. Night is not the only one in a different world from critics. It’s obvious from the box office numbers above that audiences are on a different plane from critics as well. Why? Don’t we know any better, like Griffen claims? Are we dumb like we’ve been accused? I blame it on three main things.

One, advertising. We’re victims of well-orchestrated and hard-to-resist advertising and marketing. Just last week, a co-worker said, you’re very loyal to brands aren’t you? I am die-hard loyal and I don’t stand alone. I cried when I broke up with Sprint and moved to iPhone. When the Sprint managers tried to sell me on the HTC Evo, my response was, ‘Honestly, guys, it’s just a brand thing. EVO is rated better by critics, I know, but I want the iPhone. Sorry.” Organizations spend millions of dollars on advertising in order to buy consumers’ love and devotion, literally. So when it works, why are we made to feel ignorant, dumb and useless? The movie industry is a perfect indicator that brands are incredibly powerful. With the right marketing and advertising, you can make a superstar of a guy who honestly isn’t a heartthrob – take Robert Pattinson. Then there’s Airbender, a movie based on a classic cartoon with incredible eye-popping trailers! How were we supposed to resist the trailers? Come on, they started showing the 30-second trailers last year! Same goes for Transformers and Twilight. Critics now claim the supposed Robert and Kristen relationship is fake, just to drive more interest in the movie. If that’s the case, how can we be blamed? R-Pat is now officially competing with Christian Bale for biggest cult fan base. And imagine this, Bale achieved cult status after Equilibrium, a movie that was panned by critics (I LOVED IT). Shrewd advertising and marketing have created unstoppable movie machines and audiences will keep those machines running no matter what.

The second reason for our movie-going behavior is pop culture. A lot of people hate to admit this one, but there’s truth to it if you’re really objective. It’s about the masses. It’s about group dynamics. Movies enable us be part of the conversation, part of pop culture and part of Hollywood. Who stands around the water-cooler and discusses how experiential Hurt Locker was? No, it’s about Team Jacob and Team Edward (Jacob all the way!). We want to be part of something, something bigger than us. I think Twilight is a ridiculously terrible movie in so many ways. It doesn’t stimulate or challenge your thinking or intellect in any way. Yet I’ve seen all three movies to date in the cinema on IMAX. Why? Because it’s Twilight and I just want to watch. And I will probably end up watching the next ones. The thankful thing about pop culture mania is it doesn’t last forever. The Twilight mania will end. According to a studio exec, “The Twilight saga of films are like a cheap soap opera. Yes, we are all jealous about the amount of money they are making, but you will find no one in the industry who is jealous of the quality of the filmmaking, acting or script. Sixty-five percent of its audience is young females who will abandon ‘Twilight’ in a few years just like they are now ashamed to admit they listened to NSYNC.”

The third reason for the disconnect between critics and audiences is because critics are really too technical, serious and egotistical. Critics describe camera sequences, angles, shots, the director’s unique style, story arc, pace, etc. They notice things we don’t. It doesn’t mean audiences are dumb, we’re just not filmmakers. Audiences tend to look at a number of simple things – cast, visual effects, dialogue, emotional connection and overall entertainment value. Critics are also a tad egotistical and believe they can literally dictate what we watch. They say we’re not as smart or astute as them. Definitely, movie-goers need to be astute, need to demand better quality, and just set the bar high in terms of their entertainment. But we’re astute in our daily lives, and sometimes for movies, you really just want to let go and not take life too seriously. So the dialogue and acting in Twilight sucks, but Taylor Lautner is really good to look at (if you can ignore Kristen Stewart). So Transformers is somewhat ridiculous in plot and action, but stuff is getting blown up and Megan Fox is in perpetual shorts. The dialogue in Airbender can make your skin crawl, but if you cover your ears, it’s a pretty good movie!

I am in no way saying it is alright for studios to deliberately create bad movies. I am saying they do serve some sort of purpose. A Beautiful Mind is brilliant for sure. Gladiator is spectacular. Gone with the Wind, a classic. But there are some days, you’re not looking for inspirational, fantastic or incredible. You just want to sit, lean back and watch 3 women who have no superpowers or alien blood leap effortlessly off buildings with no explanation offered – or because Charlie said they can. It’s entertainment. It’s show business.

We ask very little of movie makers because our lives are too complicated. We just want to have some fun, disappear into some dumb world for two hours and forget our real existence. For that reason, because of our intense need to escape, Transformers, Twilight and Airbender will always reign supreme.

Have faith, dear critics, Oscar continues to be on your side, for now. Even if Twilight makes over a billion, it won’t get nominated for any Oscar. Transformers will remain a blockbuster but Shia knows he’s not getting a Lead Actor nom from it. When those old Academy duds are replaced by the Gossip Girl and Vampire Diaries cast, then you can worry.

So now, all that’s left of the summer is Inception, which critics have unanimously declared, “the last, best hope for a summer movie as excellent as it is successful.” Let’s see.